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Women's Lifestyle Magazine

Show Me Your Dream List

Jan 07, 2013 05:00AM ● By WLMagazine

by Kim Carson

New Years Day 2013, for most people, is a time for resolutions. High on the list are the resolutions to lose weight, exercise more, quit smoking, and spend less money. The problem is that resolutions just aren’t for everyone. In fact, for some people, resolutions can be downright dangerous. They are an unrealistic set up for failure, from the very moment you utter your resolution aloud. That little voice in your head says words such as, “You know you can’t do that, why try?” or “You failed last year, you know you’re going to fail again this year” and Mr. Justification pipes in reminding you, “If you really wanted to do it, you know you could do it any time you wanted.”

When you make the decision to bring resolve to a situation, you have to prepare for it mentally, physically, and emotionally ahead of time. It doesn’t happen on one dedicated day, January 1st, name-the-year. If you want a shot at succeeding after January, then start preparing for it! Before you make the declaration, the resolution, stop. Be honest and forgiving with yourself, knowing that there will be times you will be able to resist temptation, and other times, not so much. That’s the way it works. So you begin again, and one day, you will suddenly realize that you are into the 6th, 7th, or 8th week of successfully changing your ways, losing the old habits. Little steps. Success always comes in Little Steps.

Ever notice that every year an expected permission is given to over indulgence during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah. But then guilt, the great motivator, rears its ugly head by the middle of January, and by February you’re burned out on discipline and restraint. Happy Valentine’s Day, here’s a big box of chocolates to make you feel loved. Do things differently this year, don’t exercise. I repeat, do not exercise. Instead, park a little further away and add a few steps to your day. That can hardly be called exercise. The 60 minute workout resolution you started on January 2nd, can’t measure up long term with parking an additional 20 spaces down at the mall and walking a little bit further routine. That is a more realistic and achievable goal and it will show you results too. It’s better than driving around for 10 minutes looking for a parking space closer to the door. Little steps = success.

Success always comes with little steps. If you ever moved past the emotional appeal of the instant success mentality that is sold to us every day, you would begin to understand how unachievable and unrealistic it is. “Play the piano like a pro in less than 24 hours!” Really? You expect me to actually believe that? Why do all the others practice so much then? And to believe that you would want to work the Stairmaster for 60 minutes a day, when you haven’t even been on it since making the resolution last year (and tiring of it around Valentine’s Day), do you see how it just sets you up for defeat?

This is a personal journey. Do not allow family and friends to monitor your progress, or your lack of it. This is all about you. There is no need to explain it, justify it, or rationalize it to anyone. It’s personal to you. You get there, when you get there, and it’s different for everyone. And be sure to remember the little wins along the way, because in the end, they are the ones that add up. This dream, wish, goal, is between you and yourself.

Experience teaches us we must be in the proper state of mind to increase our chance for success. Be it growth, breaking habits, change, they all require doing things differently, yes; but, they also require doing different things. So, attempt. That’s all, attempt. At least be willing to  commit to reading your dream list everyday. Begin to fantasize and see yourself in the scenario of the dreams on your dream list. Your dream list can be pictures, words, whatever. The dream list is meant to establish a focus.

Re-think New Year Resolutions to be more of a Dream Board that you read, and ponder everyday. Post it on your bathroom mirror, or the door that you see when you leave your house each morning. Put it in plain view and claim it! It should serve as a pleasant reminder of good things that you are thinking and believing for yourself. Maybe today it didn’t seem like anything happened to bring you any closer to your dreams, well tomorrow is a new day, a time for new things. On those days when you don’t think you have the time or even feel like reading your dream list, go through the motions and read it anyway. Carry a spare in your wallet for the times you forgot to read it. But read it everyday.

In 2013, start being good to yourself. Think of resolutions for what they are, what they should be; direction, motivation, the impetus to pursue the dream. Dreams, are ways of making you see things differently, reprogramming your yourself, your thoughts, your mind, your focus. I promise you, if you consistently see, read, and feel your dream list for at least 45 days; you will begin to see things change. You’ll become more aware of your own desires. You will see ways to begin to manifest them and some will manifest on their own. But focus needs to be consistent.

The serendipity of this story is everything starts in the spiritual, and then manifests itself in the physical. The mind is a powerful tool in achieving success in anything you pursue. Whatever your thoughts, energy, or focus is directed toward, will grow. Change your focus, change your world. Start with your heart’s desires!

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Kim Carson is an author and television/radio/internet personality. You can keep up with all of her adventures at and at